Rodrick Heffley

“I've spent years lowering Mom and Dad's expectations. They expect this kind of stuff from me, but not you. I mean, sure, Mom makes you read word books and bans you from devices cause she wants you to live a "happy life." But she just doesn't get what it's like to be a kid in the 20th century.”

— Rodrick to Greg

Rodrick Heffley
Information
Affiliation	His family Löded Diper Shadow Squad Resistance Belgrave's Army
Alignment	Good
Family	Susan Heffley (mother) Frank Heffley (father) Greg Heffley (brother) Manny Heffley (brother)
Base of operations	Heffley House Shadow Squad Monastery
Portrayed by	Devon Bostick Charlie Wright
Gender	Male
Species	Human

Rodrick Heffley is the older brother of Greg Heffley.

Quotes

“What are you doing? Get up! Mom and Dad have been calling you for an hour. You're about to be late for your first day of middle school.”

—Rodrick to his brother

“Go, go, go! Mom's about to flip out! She sent me to get you while she waits in the car!”

—Rodrick to his brother

“It's the bass solo, Turd Burglar! Don't you know anything about music?”

—Rodrick to Rowley

“Now, I came up here to get a new drumstick. And now, Greg, since Mom and Dad are gone, I'm going to kill you. Literally kill you!”

—Rodrick to Greg

“Let go, baby hippo!”

—Rodrick to Rowley

“You're gonna have to come out sometime, loser! I'll wait here as long as it takes. And then, you're dead!”

—Rodrick to Greg

“No timeouts! Only death!”

—Rodrick to Greg

“Greg started it! I-I just came in here to take a shower.”

—Rodrick to his mother

“You never sign up for anything at school. You fly below the radar. That way, you never raise anyone's expectations.”

—Rodrick giving Greg words of motivational wisdom

“Okay, settle down, Susan! I think one week is plenty!”

—Rodrick to his mother after he gets punished

“What you waiting for, wimp? You the man!”

—Rodrick telling Greg he's the man (in a negative way)

“This is a Greg thing. I don't see why I had to come.”

—Rodrick about coming to the Rocket Rollers Roller Rink

“What? I showered yesterday. Smell.”

—Rodrick to his mother about showering the day before the announcement of Plainview's Most Talented

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— Rodrick and Greg about chairs

“Wait! You get the chairs. I don't want anyone to be disappointed. All right?”

—Rodrick to Greg about getting the chairs from the basement

“It's my party, now keep quiet or I'll lock you in the dryer!”

—Rodrick to Greg

“Reminder! You can't call if you're dead.”

—Rodrick to Greg and Rowley

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— Rodrick and his father about who came over this weekend

“Rule number one: Don't be good at something that you don't want to do. Rule number two: Always lower Mom and Dad's expectations. Rule number three: Never do something when someone else can do it for you.”

—Rodrick giving Greg the secrets of an easy life

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— Rodrick asking Greg about some letter that Greg plans to write to Holly Hills

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— Rodrick and his father about pictures of Rodrick's party on the TV

“That is hilarious, Grandpa. Read another one, Greg.”

—Rodrick after spitting milk on Greg when playing Gutbusters

“I've never believed in fate, or destiny, or whatever, until now. Things are finally starting to go my way! I thought being at Grandpa's was a punishment, but really, it was destiny that Holly was here, too. My luck had finally changed.”

—Rodrick reading Greg's blue diary

“You know what? I will give it back. To Holly! Wait till she reads this garbage!”

—Rodrick threatening to give Greg's blue diary to Holly Hills

“I can't believe my luck! I finally got Holly all to myself, without Chirag, or anyone else!”

—Rodrick reading Greg's journal

“Record, record, record!”

—Rodrick desperately trying to record Greg

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— {{{speaker}}}

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— Rodrick and his father about the spelling of Sweetie's name

“I got invited! You got a problem?”

—Rodrick to Rowley

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— Rodrick and his brother about his Löded Diper tattoo

“Hey, leave the rocking to us, okay? It's what we do.”

—Rodrick to Greg

“Well, when is the bag not going to not open?”

—Rodrick about the bag

“When did you guys stop being fun?”

—Rodrick negatively asking why his parents stopped being fun

“Yes. I totally did that. I'm tied with Mom and Dad. Read another one.”

—Rodrick happy about getting a point in the "I Must Confess" game

“I did that, too! Boom. One more point. That's plus one. Plus another point.”

—Rodrick happy about getting another point in the "I Must Confess" game

“Yes! Guilty as charged! It's like this game was made for me! I own you losers! Ha ha, ha ha! Oh, yeah, I win. I won. Now I get my van fixed, right?”

—Rodrick happy about "winning" the "I Must Confess" game

“I'm very sorry for toilet papering your house, ma'am. It was a very bad thing, and I would be honored to... mow your lawn and clean your car for the rest of summer to make amends. Okay, thank you. Bye, now.”

—Rodrick apologizing to an old women on the phone

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— {{{speaker}}}

“No, duh. They're for dessert. I got us a microwave pizza.”

—Rodrick about the junk to his mother

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— Rodrick and his father about the microwave pizza in a minisafe

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— Rodrick and his mother about the cursive handwriting

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— {{{speaker}}}

“{{{line1}}}”

“{{{line2}}}”

— {{{speaker}}}

“I've spent years lowering Mom and Dad's expectations. They expect this kind of stuff from me, but not you. I mean, sure, Mom makes you read word books and bans you from devices cause she wants you to live a "happy life." But she just doesn't get what it's like to be a kid in the 20th century.”

—Rodrick to Greg

“My wife is the Angel Queen, for I am the Angel King!”

—Rodrick's motto in the books

“Changed for greater good??!! Are you f***ing nuts????!!!! You called me dearest. You made a video for me! Remember? You called me love!!!! And now, you reject me! All of these times we had, all we did, we sent, meant nothing. Nothing!! Didn't it? It was a mistake, which I regretted and will never do again! Please my love Stephanie, please accept me back!”

—Rodrick attempting to re-profess his love to Stephanie Assmus after their breakup

“How could you do this? You know, I still loved you after the incident. And if you won't accept me back, I'll fix that. Scratch that. Hatch will fix that. As a Glow, you will face impending doom. Doom a Nonel would never face. Not unless you're a good friend of that stupid Glow Colten. And that Nonel Samuel. But we will get you. The Elgen will get you. You'll see. You'll see how Hatch will improve our world with expensive and new electricity. You'll see. They'll all see.”

—Rodrick to Stephanie Assmus about the Elgen's plans

“You don't fool me, Assmus. I know you still love me and you always will. And I didn't break the vow. I tried to explain to you. This villain called the Dark Spinjitzu Master took over me! I meant it that day, but when the DSM took control of me, I had no choice. He told me if I didn't 'break' this vow, he'll kill me. And I'll be forgotten.”

—Rodrick explaining to Stephanie Assmus the truth about his encounter with the Dark Spinjitzu Master

“The source of evil is here! You can't defeat the DSM! I am the DSM!”

—Rodrick while controlled by the Dark Spinjitzu Master

“The spirit is always dormant. We just need to weaken it to the point it can be destroyed in the end days. But for now, the spirit won't bother us, as long as you're around.”

—Rodrick to Stephanie Assmus

Notes

• Greg Heffley takes up a lot of traits from Rodrick.
• He was originally called "Rodney" in early developments.

Gallery

Main article: Rodrick Heffley/Gallery