Rodrick Heffley

“I've spent years lowering Mom and Dad's expectations. They expect this kind of stuff from me, but not you. I mean, sure, Mom makes you read word books and bans you from devices cause she wants you to live a "happy life." But she just doesn't get what it's like to be a kid in the 20th century.”

— Rodrick to Greg

Rodrick Heffley
Information
Affiliation	His family Löded Diper The Resistance
Alignment	Good
Family	Susan Heffley (mother) Frank Heffley (father) Greg Heffley (brother) Manny Heffley (brother)
Portrayed by	Devon Bostick Charlie Wright
Gender	Male
Species	Human

Rodrick Heffley is the older brother of Greg Heffley.

Quotes

“What are you doing? Get up! Mom and Dad have been calling you for an hour. You're about to be late for your first day of middle school.”

—Rodrick to his brother

“Go, go, go! Mom's about to flip out! She sent me to get you while she waits in the car!”

—Rodrick to his brother

“It's the bass solo, Turd Burglar! Don't you know anything about music?”

—Rodrick to Rowley

“Now, I came up here to get a new drumstick. And now, Greg, since Mom and Dad are gone, I'm going to kill you. Literally kill you!”

—Rodrick to Greg

“Let go, baby hippo!”

—Rodrick to Rowley

“You're gonna have to come out sometime, loser! I'll wait here as long as it takes. And then, you're dead!”

—Rodrick to Greg

“No timeouts! Only death!”

—Rodrick to Greg

“Greg started it! I-I just came in here to take a shower.”

—Rodrick to his mother

“You never sign up for anything at school. You fly below the radar. That way, you never raise anyone's expectations.”

—Rodrick giving Greg words of motivational wisdom

“Okay, settle down, Susan! I think one week is plenty!”

—Rodrick to his mother after he gets punished

“What you waiting for, wimp? You the man!”

—Rodrick telling Greg he's the man (in a negative way)

“This is a Greg thing. I don't see why I had to come.”

—Rodrick about coming to the Rocket Rollers Roller Rink

“What? I showered yesterday. Smell.”

—Rodrick to his mother about showering the day before the announcement of Plainview's Most Talented

Rodrick Heffley: Wait! Whoa, whoa! We need chairs from the basement.

Greg Heffley: For what?

“Wait! You get the chairs. I don't want anyone to be disappointed. All right?”

—Rodrick to Greg about getting the chairs from the basement

“It's my party, now keep quiet or I'll lock you in the dryer!”

—Rodrick to Greg

“Reminder! You can't call if you're dead.”

—Rodrick to Greg and Rowley

Frank Heffley: So... Who came over this weekend?

Rodrick Heffley: What? Nobody. You said nobody, Dad. No means no, right?

“Rule number one: Don't be good at something that you don't want to do. Rule number two: Always lower Mom and Dad's expectations. Rule number three: Never do something when someone else can do it for you.”

—Rodrick giving Greg the secrets of an easy life

Greg Heffley: Well, actually I was thinking about writing her a note.

Rodrick Heffley: You mean, like one with words on it?

Frank Heffley: Rodrick, can you explain what you're doing in this photo?

Rodrick Heffley: That's not me.

“That is hilarious, Grandpa. Read another one, Greg.”

—Rodrick after spitting milk on Greg when playing Gutbusters

“I've never believed in fate, or destiny, or whatever, until now. Things are finally starting to go my way! I thought being at Grandpa's was a punishment, but really, it was destiny that Holly was here, too. My luck had finally changed.”

—Rodrick reading Greg's blue diary

“You know what? I will give it back. To Holly! Wait till she reads this garbage!”

—Rodrick threatening to give Greg's blue diary to Holly Hills

“I can't believe my luck! I finally got Holly all to myself, without Chirag, or anyone else!”

—Rodrick reading Greg's journal

“Record, record, record!”

—Rodrick desperately trying to record Greg

Bill Walter: Dude, they love us! No hard feelings, right, bro?

Rodrick Heffley: Hey, Bill, you know what? When we're done tonight, you're out of the band.

Frank Heffley: Sweaty?

Rodrick Heffley: I'm pretty sure it spells Sweetie, Dad.

“I got invited! You got a problem?”

—Rodrick to Rowley

Greg Heffley: Mom is going to kill you! When did you get a tattoo?

Rodrick Heffley: There's a lot you don't know about me, Greggy.

“Hey, leave the rocking to us, okay? It's what we do.”

—Rodrick to Greg

“Well, when is the bag not going to not open?”

—Rodrick about the bag

“When did you guys stop being fun?”

—Rodrick negatively asking why his parents stopped being fun

“Yes. I totally did that. I'm tied with Mom and Dad. Read another one.”

—Rodrick happy about getting a point in the "I Must Confess" game

“I did that, too! Boom. One more point. That's plus one. Plus another point.”

—Rodrick happy about getting another point in the "I Must Confess" game

“Yes! Guilty as charged! It's like this game was made for me! I own you losers! Ha ha, ha ha! Oh, yeah, I win. I won. Now I get my van fixed, right?”

—Rodrick happy about "winning" the "I Must Confess" game

“I'm very sorry for toilet papering your house, ma'am. It was a very bad thing, and I would be honored to... mow your lawn and clean your car for the rest of summer to make amends. Okay, thank you. Bye, now.”

—Rodrick apologizing to an old women on the phone

Susan Heffley: Rodrick, I said no phones!

Rodrick Heffley: But I want to post it online! It's hilarious!

“No, duh. They're for dessert. I got us a microwave pizza.”

—Rodrick about the junk to his mother

Frank Heffley: Rodrick, that's a minisafe.

Rodrick Heffley: Huh. And they disguised it as a microwave. Pretty smart.

Susan Heffley: Did guys get anything on my list?

Rodrick Heffley: I couldn't read your curly oldie English writing.

Susan Heffley: You guys are in for a treat. The country fair will be a great opportunity for you to see how people live in the real America.

Rodrick Heffley: Wait. So where do we live again?

Susan Heffley: That's Meemaw when she was a baby.

Rodrick Heffley: Is she a boy or a girl?

“I've spent years lowering Mom and Dad's expectations. They expect this kind of stuff from me, but not you. I mean, sure, Mom makes you read word books and bans you from devices cause she wants you to live a "happy life." But she just doesn't get what it's like to be a kid in the 20th century.”

—Rodrick to Greg

“My wife is the Angel Queen, for I am the Angel King!”

—Rodrick's motto in the books

Notes

• Greg Heffley takes up a lot of traits from Rodrick.
• He was originally called "Rodney" in early developments.

Gallery

Main article: Rodrick Heffley/Gallery